Just stop saying no to yourself, it’s really that easy.
When you have a goal in mind, whatever the circumstance, or how loosely organized, you don’t need to know how it’s going to play out. In fact, if you know how it played out, it’d be boring as hell. There’s no fun in omnipotent knowledge, so just trust the process. All you need to do, all you really need to do, in order to self actualize, is start saying yes. It doesn’t matter that people don’t believe you: family, friends, dare I say yourself?
In everyone’s defense, you haven’t brought that thing into existence; yet, that is.
Fuck it, who cares, if it doesn’t exist, create it. There’s a power in diving off the metaphorical cliff and riding out something you’ve never done. The perceived risk fuels the excitement, so long as you don’t fall prey to the two biggest hurdles that stop the drive in budding creatives, you’ll succeed. You’ll always succeed.
Firstly, the people you’re surrounded with probably won’t understand it, especially if they’ve adopted a fearful callus to life: why would you want to do that? Is that even practical? Who’s going to care? Etc ad nauseam.
Cut those people out of your social circle, like the cancer they are, immediately. If that means living the life of an isolated monk, so be it. You have no potential energy to spare on negativity and the people you choose to surround yourself with, regardless of who they are, have the ability to leech it. Never allow that. If someone wants to justify their own complacency off the back of your dream, kindly lead them to the door.
I do mean kindly, it’s an act in self love when we curate our social circle, there’s no room for spite.
Secondly, we all too often get caught up in exercising our ability to undercut our growth. It’s like trying to run a race with your shoes tied together, that gooey dark corner of your psyche; let’s call it the shadow. Without bogging you down in psychoanalytical jargon, it’s the antithesis to growth. It’s the most toxic part of the ego and everyone has their own secret formula; not all shadows are made a like. It’s the reason “two steps forward, three steps back” is such a well known expression. And you, yes you, must challenge that shit daily, in little ways.
I’m not talking about conquering the world, or even yourself, but you must start to create scenarios in which you succeed. Start small. Forgive your shortcomings, get to work, and keep picking yourself up. If you’re depressed, just brush your teeth, or clean your apartment, and then maybe eat some fruit. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the grand act, the thing that everyone sees, but the doldrums of healthy habit, along with the boredom of consistency, is what births success.
Then, when you’ve begun to master the little things, you can start adding new tasks. Climb that mountain, kick the cigarettes, ask that girl out. You know, the silly shit. In retrospect, when you’ve proven to yourself that you’re capable, and you’ve done it, it all becomes silly shit.
The things you used to get tripped up on will become laughable and you’ll begin to see the big joke; insecurities and fears are hilarious. I don’t mean that they’re necessarily funny as the butt of a joke, rather you’ll see how ridiculous it is to deny yourself fulfillment.
I urge you, challenge your shadow, open the blinds, and bathe in some of that juicy sunshine. Do it for yourself, but if you can’t be bothered by that right now, do it for the people that love you; your mindset will change soon, I promise.
By the way, if you’re doing it solely for money, it isn’t the right dream to wake up to.
A twisted hand with half gnawed fingernails, sporting blood raw cuticles, clutched the stainless steel handrail next to my seat. It belonged to a woman of a hard fifty years. She was balding, missing most of the body in her hair, much like what a little girl’s doll becomes after years of abuse, and her scalp shown through.